Movies Galore takes a look at director Tim Burton’s Spoof feature film “Dark Shadows” from 2012!

Written by David Strege

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To be honest I’d thought Tim Burton had learned not to fuck up a classic When he’d directed “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” with his ugly Hispanic Oompa Loompas let alone Depp’s Edward Scissorhand mushroomtop look…

But here again Burton proves that at times he can be a hack though I loved his (Edward Scissorhand’s, Sweeney Todd, Sleepy Hollow, and Ed Wood).

This Dark Shadows it based on the late sixties early seventies daytime soap opera of the same name Starring Jonathon Frid and Greyson Hall alongside Lara Parker, David Selby, Katherine Leigh Scott, Alexander Isles, Nancy Barret, Joan Bennett, Louis Edmonds, And David Hennessy among others…

The first hundred or so episodes were about the family of Colin wood and the people surrounding the port but when Johnathan Frid made an appearance on the 112th episode or so as the Vampire Barnabas Collins he was a hit and stayed on…

The origins of the show and its popularity is remembered by Barnabas and his legendary role as the curse put upon himself by Angelique (Parker) a witch whom loved Barnabas to the brink of death and if she couldn’t have him she’d kill his precious Josette and curse him to forever be chained as a Vampire until the day Willy Loomis a lodger within the Collins wood mansion stumbled upon a secret door within the family crypt…

In Tim Burton’s film adaptation Johnny Depp reprises the role as Barnabas as we see a bit of the beginnings of how Angelique in love with Barnabas as well as Jealous bewitched his love Josette over the Cliff on Widows Hill, killed his mother and father than cursed him as a Vampire…

I believe a hundred years later construction workers were working on a dig site in the woods near the Collinswood estates and unearthed the coffin in which Barbara’s had been burried once unleashed the entirety of all contruction workers were drained of their blood as we see Depp act very stiff and weird as he hits pavement in sight of a McDonald’s.

In any case he arrives at the manor in its dire state of poverty where Willy Loomis is the butler or caretaker of the mansion and issues him in.  Meanwhile Angelique played by Eva Green has learned of his uncovering and has become a shipping magnet of Angel Bay and owns three forths of Collinsport…

Michelle Pfiefer plays Elizabeth Stoddard Collins and meets Barnabas as he passes himself off as a distant relative as the resemblance of himself and Barnabas Collins is uncanny.  Amongst those living in the mansion are David And Roger Collins his father as well as Carolyn Stoddard sister to David, and Dr. Julia Hoffman whom instead of in the show having some way of eventially getting involved in this film she is already a resident.

Now that all have been introduced Barnabas shows Elizabeth one of the secret treasure doors hidden in the mansion which apparently they,be had all along just never knew and with his help the family begins to take back what was once theirs.

Dark Shadows was never once a comedy and yet Burton seems to make a mockery of the tale as the film takes a comedic turn with the sex romping… between Angelique and Barnabas…

Mysteriously a young lady named Victoria Winters has traveled to the estate to become a governess for David whome Barnabas takes an instant liking to as she looks exactly like his precious Josette.

Christopher Lee makes an appearance as a Captain and though I think Dark Shadows is not a comedy I actually thought when Depp hipnotized Lee was priceless, as well as Alice Cooper who performed a song of his… at a party.

Having Caroline as the werewolf instead of having a Quentin Collin’s involved was preposterous and a sham.  Though the soundtrack was certainly from the seventies it did not fit well entirely with the storyline plus barnabas would have definitely been more refined and regal in his lovemaking even if it were in the present.

I also feel that making Roger played by Elementary’s Johnny Lee Miller out to be a villain when Roger’s Character was part of what I feel made the show Strong he was not a week character at all kinda had a fondness for Roger even though he was a little stiff I feel I saw an emotional human side on the Show after awhile…

As for Depp’s performance of Barnabas I was please as well as Michelle’s Elizabeth I wasn’t disappointed.  I did feel the boy who played David Collins Shined a little in an over all ultimate battle in the end with his speaking to spirits….

It just seemed totally rushed and crammed and to me you can’t really cram the entire Dark Shadows into one film like this and instead of paying homage to the show so rich with background and history… Burton Insults it’s every nature of existence.

There was however one redeeming feature I loved the Wolves howling on the door to the treasure vault this feature of the Manor was incredible.  So locations were stimulating but the story line sucked as well as the humor it’s not that there wasn’t humor in dark shadows but it certainly was more regally refined…

I Enjoyed several of the performances but I was not a fan of this Burton Production I’m not even going to call it a horror film for the farce that I believe it to be… I wouldn’t recommend this film for anyone.  But the Choice is yours… enjoy!

P.s.: Those who know me my favorite Tv Show of all time was Dark Shadows finally had to post some of my disgust and normally I post films with pictures I didn’t think it deserved the satisfaction

Starring Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins, Michelle Pfeiffer as Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, Helena Bonham Carter as Dr. Julia Hoffman, Eva Green as Angelique Bouchard, Jackie Earle Haley as Willie Loomis, Jonny Lee Miller as
Roger Collins, Bella Heathcote as
Victoria Winters / Josette DuPres, Chloë Grace Moretz as Carolyn Stoddard, Gulliver McGrath as David Collins (as Gully McGrath), Ray Shirley as Mrs. Johnson, Christopher Lee as Clarney, Alice Cooper as Alice Cooper, Ivan Kaye as Joshua Collins, Susanna Cappellaro as Naomi Collins, Josephine Butler as David’s Mother, William Hope as
Sheriff, Shane Rimmer as Board Member 1, Michael Shannon as Board Member 2 (as Michael J. Shannon), Harry Taylor as
Henchman, Glen Mexted as Captain Rubberpants, Guy Flanagan as Bearded Hippie, Nigel Whitmey as Hard Hat 1, Philip Bulcock as Hard Hat 2, Sophie Kennedy Clark as Hippie Chick 1, Hannah Murray as
Hippie Chick 2, Victoria Bewick as
Hippie Chick 3, Sean Mahon as Collinsport Cop, Alexia Osborne as Young Victoria, Richard Hollis as Vicky’s Father, Felicity Brangan as Vicky’s Mother, Michael Anthony Brown as Windcliff Doctor, Charlotte Spencer as Coat Check Girl, Gabriel Freilich as Hippie 3, Justin Tracy as Young Barnabus – aged 6, Thomas Grube as Construction Worker 1, Jeff Mash as Construction Worker 2, Raffey Cassidy as Young Angelique, Jonathan Frid as Guest, Kathryn Leigh Scott as Guest, Lara Parker as Guest, David Selby as Guest, Janine Craig as Go Go Dancer 1, Adelle Young as Go Go Dancer 2, Dominika Van Santen as Go Go Dancer 3 (as Dominica Van Santen), Josephine McGrail as Go Go Dancer 4, Victoria Jane Appleton as Collins Canning Worker (uncredited), Lasco Atkins as Cannery Worker (uncredited), Gintare Beinoraviciute as Town Lady (uncredited), Greg Bennett as Chet the Taxidermist (uncredited), Ashley Bernard as Canning Company Employee (uncredited), Kenneth W Caravan as 18th Century Gentleman (uncredited), Duncan Casey as Policeman (uncredited), James Cooper as Dock Worker (uncredited), Edward Coupland as
Fireman (uncredited), Andrew Crayford as
Townsperson (uncredited), Vincent Curson Smith as Young Barnabas – aged 9 (uncredited), Leigh Daniels as Slow Dancer (uncredited), Jel Djelal as Firefighter (uncredited), Marco Flammer as AngelBay Boy (uncredited), Javier Fontana as Fisherman (uncredited), Jake Francis as
Photographer (uncredited), Shonn Gregory as Worker (uncredited), Daniel Harland as
Barnabas Collin’s Carrier Person (uncredited), Lee Nicholas Harris as
Fisherman (uncredited), Keaton Heinrichs as
Angelbay Canning Boy (uncredited), Frank Hellebrand as Henchman (uncredited), Chris Martin Hill as Fireman (uncredited), Tony Hunter as Factory Worker (uncredited), Josh Jefferies as Pizzeria Customer (uncredited), Jorge Leon Martinez as Collinwood Worker (uncredited), David Lyddon as Workman (uncredited), Ian Mann as Dock Worker (uncredited), Oliver Mayo as Firefighter (uncredited), Matthew David McCarthy as
18th Century Gentleman (uncredited), Thomas McDonell as Young Barnabus Collins (uncredited), Ryan McPhail as Construction worker (uncredited), Duncan Meadows as
Mob (uncredited), Dale Mercer as Slow Dancer (uncredited), Alex Moore as
Fire Fighter (uncredited), Stuart Mulcaster as
Townsperson (uncredited), Benjayx Murphy as Builder (uncredited), Marcus Ramtohul as
Record Store Owner (uncredited), Valery Richardson as Townsperson (uncredited), Steve Saunders as Fisherman (uncredited), Ellie Spicer as Girl in Phone Booth (uncredited), Phillip Taggart as Cannary worker (uncredited), Nick Thomas-Webster as Timothy (uncredited), Matt Tyzack as
Townsperson (uncredited), Charlie Woodford as 18th Century Gentleman (uncredited).

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Movies Galore takes a look at director Christopher G. Moore’s short film “Foodie” from 2013!

Written by David Strege

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If your a chef or cook or in any kind of restaurant and your moving up in ranks you might want to think twice after watching this short film about a secret society of chefs…

The definition of a foodie is one that is so obsessed with food whether it’s eating or the drinking of spirits that it can virtually take over your life and be addicting…

Coming from Cinema Fuel Productions director Christopher G. Moore this is a dark comedy of just that kind of person… slowly rising in ranks of the food industry, totally obsessed with food is a groupie that has been invited to an underground dinner party of the most infamous chef’s and people in the incrowd on the up and up.

What he doesn’t realize is the main course is not what he is ready for…

I think that this was a hilarious short film and for being done on such a low budget can instantly become a classic for any restaurant goer or anyone part of the industry…. I really do believe there are people as into food as the main character Mueller (Kramer) who seems full of himself as well as being a groupie of sorts as to whether there’s as fucked up of a secret society of chefs and the like? I mean there’s The famous French Milt (Algiers) (who seems quite at ease with his knives), and the Wine Dungeon duo (adept at being submissive as well as dominant) and Whose to say… but this short film deserved some mention as there was a bit of a twist and a surprise of who eats whom and kills whom in the end.  As to what’s on the menu?

Go ahead look inside your mailbox there might be an invitation…

I would totally recommend this film for horror enthusiests it was comical as all hell definitely worth a watch… be careful what you eat…

Starring Nick Karner as Mueller, David Berberian as John Lando, Alena Koch as
Hannah, Jeff Alguire as French Milt, Tony Hughes as Brandon X, Meredith Sause as
Teddy (as Meredith Leigh Sause), Tracey Coppedge as Beth, Emlee Vassilos as
Darla, Gilly Conklin as Shannon Von Vester, John Jimerson as Greg, Jennifer Evans as
French Milt Groupie #1, Stephanie Minervino as French Milt Groupie #2 (as Stephanie Rinehart).

Movies Galore takes a look at director Glen Coburn’s cult classic “Bloodsuckers From Outer Space” horror comedy from 1984!

Written by David Strege

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Well I’ve reviewed a bunch of New films so I decided to take a look at this little cult horror comedy classic by director Glen Coburn distributed in 2014 by Wacked Movies “Bloodsuckers From Outer Space.”

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Not only is it weird and I say weird lightly as it’s definitely overly used in the script… hehe The film begins with a local farmer from Texas going about his chores when a sudden gust of wind tears through and suddenly spilling blood, becomes a bloodsucker of sorts…

As was culture to the birth of the 80s there’s even a corny somewhat psychedelic title song.  The next morning the town sherrif, his deputy, the local newspaper journalist, Photographer Jeff (Meyer) , and town local Buford (Stanford) all witness the turned Farmer as he’s sucked a victim dry…

Dr. Pace (Webb) and his team of scientists take the bloodsucker back to their lab at Research City, whilst the army sends a Heneral Sanders and his small body of troops to “Take care” of the situation at hand.

Jeff on the other hand is forced to make a desiscion about becoming a farm hand for his Uncle Joe and Aunt Kate or skipping town and loosing his inheritance.  On wis way while doing some errands his car breaks down when he runs into free spirited Julie (Ellis) who was on her way from Dallas to nowhere in particular…

Ralph Rhodes (Coburn) who is part of the top secret research team at Research City is Jeff’s brother,  after a romp Jeff and Julie head quickly over to his uncle’s place when they realize the place is covered in blood as his Aunt has certainly changed as has his uncle into this airbourne plague from outer space… ultimately it’s up to Jeff, Julie or the Nuke hungry General Sanders (Letts) to figure out how to beat this brainwashed invasion…

To be honest I’m not exactly sure we can all these people Zombies entirely because first this was an Airbourne collective, secondly to me a zombie doesn’t talk, a true zombie groans, or growls and eats everything with flesh… not just blood.

Secondly I think there was a scene where the sex sounds of Julie and Jeff had certainly gone on long enough… The Janitor Norman (Brigham), weirdly enough wore out the use of the word “weird to the point of being annoying but the film was not without its comedy and was enjoyably bad but Corny.  I think it’s one of those deliciously bad but meant to be bad and comical films that can be enjoys on the worst of nights.

 

Now there were moments of slowness and some apparently bad acting by the aunt and uncle characters but I think that’s what was part of what made this film amusing. I certainly recommend this film to all horror film enthusiasts for a good laugh… enjoy!

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Starring Robert Bradeen as Uncle Joe, Big John Brigham as Norman, Glen Coburn as
Ralph Rhodes, Franny Coppenbarger as Dead Woman, Christine Crowe as President’s Playmate, David Cunningham as Military guard, Joyce Dixon as Seductive Bloodsucker,  Laura Ellis as Julie, Dan Gallion as The Farmer, Rick Garlington as Major Hood, Wayne Greene as B.J. Barton, Christopher Heldman as Sam (as Chris Heldman), Candace Hickey as Blood Sucker, Billie Keller as Aunt Kate, Paul LaRocque as Driver, Dennis Letts as General Sanders, Thom Meyers as Jeff Rhodes (as Thom Meyer), Kris Nicolau-Sharpley as Jeri Jett, Julie Oliver-Touchstone as Screamer (as Julie P. Oliver-Touchstone), Pat Paulsen as U.S. President, Darrell Shelton as Guard, Jim Stafford as
Buford, Richard Wainscott as Richard, Samantha Walker as Pam, John Webb as
Dr. Pace, Jack Wilkinson as Coroner.

Movies Galore takes a look at director Emir Skolanja’s Black Metal short film “Ave Satanas” from 2017!

Written by David Strege

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Working with Underground Gorellector Films, Fox Trot Productions director Emir Skalonja brings us a short film called “Ave Satanas” for 2017.

Filmed in black and white as two women meet in the woods, Evanora (Shenk) and Mary (Skolanja).  Evanora speaks of being defile and asking for vengeance she must do so in blood…

Next we see an abandoned church where a hooded woman confronts these two men for Mary as she condemns them to death a man comes around and cuts one’s tongue out.  The other man dies and has his guts pulled out… while black metal plays and our hooded avenger moans as if in ecstasy…

The acting by all was very ritual so I believe that all involved in this short film did an excellent job.  This film was meant to be a slow to gorefest homage to Satan.  I think it can be considered a period piece as it comes off as possibly an older tale in an ancient time.

I think we have a lot to look forward to with director Emir Skolanja well done Emir.  I enjoyed it though I hope we here more of this story in the near future… I will remember that cackle… i certainly recommend this film for the gore enthusiast enjoy!

Starring Krystal Shenk as Evanora, Nicole Skolanja as Mary, Jose Rivera as Man #1, Brian Warden as Man #2.

Movies Galore takes a look at Director Sandy Collora’s Batman/Predator influenced short film “Batman: Dead End” from 2003!

Written by David Strege

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Now I know that there have been many films that have been constituted as being fan made films so this would certainly be one of them.  Brought to us by Mantouk Films and Level 7 films director Sandy Collora once again produces an interesting adaptation of his own version of the Dark Knight.

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As the film begins we see a man suit up in what looks like a similar suit to that which the original 1960’s Batman might of worn not your usual lately, blasted up armor with plastic or metal plating uniform but with cape none the less as you here a news billeting about Gotham in the background.

Its raining as the Batman (Bartram) jumps to the ground his cape spreads almost all around him, the rain pinging of his cape like it’s a tarp of sorts but how it got to flow around him in slow motion was very cool…

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The Joker (Koenig) escaped Arkham Asylum and goes up against His foe with the help of three Predator Creatures and and Alien as his criminal underlings so it’s certainly interesting how Collora mixes these foes together who’d of thought we’d see such a clash of titanish monsters in Gotham.

I enjoyed this short film extremely in a way it’s odd and impossible that these creatures from other films to have shown up in the D.C. world but it’s also a cool concept and thanks to a recent discovery they did actually clash in the comics when D.C. And Darkhorse got together…

The acting was pretty great too it’s not like he picked some random people to play these villains… I recommend you check this short film if you can I enjoyed it and is one of my favorite fan films now…

Starring Clark Bartram as Batman, Andrew Koenig as The Joker, Kurt Carley as
Predator #1, Jake McKinnon as Alien, Dragon Dronet as Left Predator, Patrick Magee as
Predator #3.

Movies Galore takes a look at the long awaited Horror film “The Barn” directed by Justin M. Seaman from 2016!

Written by David Strege

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Brought to us by Nevermore Productionsand directed by Justin M. Seaman is this long awaited feature called “The Barn.”

Turns out in asense the film is somewhat evolved with Seaman’s version of the Boogeyman but began in a silent horror short film he’d filmed called “All Hollow’s Eve” from 2012.

As with all urban legends the film begins with a legend of three demons, The Boogey Man, Hallowed Jack and Candy Corn Scarecrow born from that of miners of a small town and a barn… Also from variations of the Boogeyman tale…

In Wheary Falls a service is being held at dusk in 1959 marking the return of the annual Harvest Hootnanny… by moonlight two young kids a boy and a girl go out to the barn that’s off limits… but go anyways there’s a set of rules to be followed… The little girl does not come back…

30 years later in Helen’s Valley, 1989 Sam (Mussolini) and Josh (Stout) are best freinds and have been putting on a haunted house forever but Ms. Barnhart has forbid them to do anything this All Hollows Eve… so with a group of freinds and a young girl Michelle (Dripps) that Sam likes to go out to see the last concert of a specific band that a Dr. Rock (Lehman) tv program “The Rock Block” reminiscent of MTV told them about that “Demon Inferno” was coming to a location near them.

Its been a year since Josh’s dad the town preacher (Billock) has died and hasn’t been easy and both with Sam being grounded after their prank their freind Russ, Chris and Nikki… all decide to catch this supposed Rock Concert but end up Running into the legendary demons of said town…

First of All I totally dug this film I think that that this was definitely very like bringing the feel of what the eighties was all about sex, love, the slasher, drugs, partying and Rock’n’roll…

There was certainly blood definitely Splatter and a story line and history this film was dropped in.  The acting was great and the characters memorable.  And I think the fact that Sam knew all these weird rules of the legend of Halloween and the story behind the three local demons…

I most definitely recommend this film for all but I think what I didn’t like was the price they were farming it out for… I understand that your out there to make money bsck on the film but thirty bucks is a lot for a film even if it’s a special edition with a computer game as the bonus extra… I think 15 would have just been fine… I think the director was scalping people a little to get their copy is all… but it was also a decent film and well done… there’s more but I’m sure you don’t want me to tell all… enjoy!

Starring Mitchell Musolino as Sam, Will Stout as Josh, Lexi Dripps as Michelle, Cortland Woodard as Chris, Nikki Howell as Nikki (as Nikki Darling), Nickolaus Joshua as Russell, Linnea Quigley as Ms. Barnhart, Ari Lehman as Dr. Rock, Ryan Nogy as Shirley Garrett, David Hampton as
George, James Weldon as Mr. Daniels, Justin M. Seaman as Boogeyman, Rik Billock as The Preacher, Elyse Alberts as
Matt’s Older Sister, Hunter Amos as George Haywin (child), Jon Bailey as
Trailer Narrator (voice), James Baker as
Ash Baxtor, Matt Starr Bores as Vinny Michaels, Ted Boyko as Ted Bundy-Vocals (Legendary Hucklebucks), Cheyenne Burnsworth as Arcade Kid #1, Colton Burnsworth as Roller Rink Patron #2, Paula Burnsworth as Roller Rink Patron #1, Rodney Burnsworth as Arcade Kid #2, Dakota Corwin as Hootenanny Guest #9, Tyler Denman as Arcade Kid #3, Stephen Dixon as Hootenanny Guest #7, Linda Emeterio as Old Cat Lady, Anna Fajerski as
Hootenanny Guest #12, Dave Fresch as
Dave Fresch-Guitar (Legendary Hucklebucks), John Garrett as Hootenanny Guest #13, Linda Garrett as Hootenanny Guest #14, Brian Gault as Brian Hucklebuck-Drums (Legendary Hucklebucks), Jedediah Giacchino as Hootenanny Guest #4, Sable Griedel as
80’s Porch Sweeping Girl, Susie Johnson as
Hootenanny Guest #18, Linda Loughman as Hootenanny Guest #21, Jordan Main as
Hootenanny Guest #22, Jeramey Pelzer as
Hootenanny Guest #6, Michael Prutzman as Hootenanny Guest #19, Johnny Relich as
Johnny Devil-Guitar (Legendary Hucklebucks), Mark J. Reyes as Hootenanny Guest #20, Cheryl Seaman as
Hootenanny Guest #8, Tanya R. Seaman as
Roller Rink Concession Worker, Douglas Sikora as Uncle Piddles-Upright Bass (Legendary Hucklebucks), Clay Sismour as
Kitchen Corn Shucker, Nicholas Sprowls as
Terrorized Trick or Treater, Jeremiah Startare as Roller Rink Patron #3, Jacob Stone as Hootenanny Guest #10, Ryan Sullivan as Hootenanny Guest #5, Clarissa Teagarden as Hootenanny Guest #17, Jeremy Teagarden as Hootenanny Guest #15, Megan Teagarden as Hootenanny Guest #16, Ethan Turner as Roller Rink Patron #4, Keith Uram as Iggy Stevens, Christopher Vertosick as Hootenanny guest #2, Jonathan Vertosick as Hootenanny guest #1, Darby Zerbini as
Hootenanny Guest #11.

Movies Galore takes a look at director Sandy Collora’s short film “Archangel” from 2002!

Written by David Strege

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Brought to us in part from Montauk Films and Level 7 directed by Sandy Collora is a roughly seven minute short film of a religious nature…

Sandy Collora makes a total visual dream aspect of how the devil takes the form of a child (Decker) when coming to take a soul on earth for their hearts are pure and innocent…

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Using the representation of a Dom (Nann) and a Sub (Wolf) where the sub was kidnapped by the devil a guardian sent by God protected and guided the sun back to her Dom.

I think this film is somewhat subliminal and spiritual but also is also very beautifully filmed.  There was no talking as the film is to like I almost said a virtual dreamlike sequence.   I really liked this short film for the landscape and the symbolism used.

i certainly enjoyed this film and look forward to more from this director I think he is very talented in telling stories from visualization and may have been over looked… I totally recommend you view this short film for its spectacular visuals. Enjoy!

Starring Jonathan Decker as Child, Erika Nann as Dom, Dustin Olander as Archangel, Aime Wolf as Sub.