Brought to us by Acid Bath Productions in 2014, not the first or last film by James Balsamo (Cool As Hell, Killer Waves) this is an SOV horror comedy that not everyone will get or enjoy but it’s full of slapstick stupidity that some of it you’d have to just shake your head at its so fucking stupid but… as some of you may not of noticed I tend to enjoy the stupidity in a film…
As it turns out James Balsamo plays Multibillionaire heir to a rich fortune but spends most of his inheritance on women, booze and cars but his grandfather (Hershel Gordon Lewis) has had enough and kicks Tony to the curb unless he can procure his highschool GED. Not only that but his sometime girlfriend who seems kind of a snob to begin with, leaves him as he is kind of a slacker and hears in the news that he may loose his fortune hehe
Well again he squanders his fortune and expects some of his freinds in high places to bale him out. Butch Patrick and Ron Jeremy make an appearance as freinds whom Tony owes and so on and so forth…
As well there is a Vampire princess Elizabeth who is bored out of her mind but goes in for a class of Bite I mean night school as I believe she’s seen that Tony is attending and at first looks at him as food… and a Vampire tracker I believe by the name of Saul after the group as well…
not only that there’s a vampire count looking for Elizabeth as she’s the rightful heir to be Vampire Queen but his lead Vampire Assistant is power hungry. Besides this there’s a Vampire Hunter and three priests known as the Holy Trinity hunting the vampires…
There is a lot going on in this film as the story line is slow to evolve but it eventially comes to a hault I’m not saying it’s a bad film but I hated the audio had an echo but I enjoyed the nudity, as well as the comedy of Tony’s freind he goes and stays with as the Lesbian Mafia is after his but… another use of wigs, puppetry and practical effects.
Was that bat that was supposed to be the beast Tony was to kill a kite? Lmao you just have to be able to enjoy stupidity to enjoy this lowly underbudgeted piece of Comedy…
Definitely got the point Tony owed a lot of money that’s for sure I’m pretty sure this didn’t or doesn’t deserve an oscar but the slapstick stupidity and repetitiveness can not be ignored. I did laugh a couple of times and did enjoy the holy trinity gang so I guess I liked it lol
But I don’t think everyone could sit through it as I did I got the humor and the vulgarity now shall we attend Bite school?
Class is now in session!
Starring James Balsamo as Tony, Paul Fears as George, Ron Jeremy as Ron, Mandy Cat Kitana as Vicky, Roy Frumkes as Mr. Fleck, Butch Patrick as Butch, Billy Walsh as Gregor, John Dugan As Henry, Frank Mullen as Vinny, Jonathan Moody as
Ben, Veronica Freeman as Elizabeth, Edward X. Young as Count Cladu, Jasmin St. Claire as Dana, Sarah French as Kelly,
Ophelia Rain as Beth, Genoveva Rossi as
Suck-A-Rella, Dustin Boltjes as Dustin,
Vincent Leong as Mr. Woo, Sonya Richards as Shelly The Vampire, Jeffrey J. Scott as Principal Hesh, Leo Pond as Leo, Kevin Crook as Kevin, Austin Cooper as Dirk,
Rob Kellum as Zack, Carmine Capobianco as Uncle Pookie, Roberto Lombardi as Tim,
Stu Block as Craig, John Link as Rocko, Tyler Cooper as Johnny Paparazzi, David Peel as David Peel, Ari Lehman as The Key Master, Sarah Martin as Cookie, Patrick Sheridan as Greg, Robert Youngren as Father Bob, Bob Socci as Father Ethan Wayne, Brian Steward as Goon, Geoffery Von Gore as Vampire, Robert Arensen as Father Marlon, Swan Olivera as Swan,
Karl L. Sanders as Ron, Mike Baez as Smokey Bones, Peter Cooper as Vito, Rick Jimenez as Martin, Vincent Notice as Darnell the Vampire, L. Anna Lenz as Charlene, Dave Stein as Mickey the Bum,
Marc Heller as Saul, Jennifer Valdes as Vampera, Anne Barschall as Batty Edna,
Jason John Beebe as Al the Vampire.