Movies Galore takes a Trip to Hell Island as we look at Caleb Emerson’s 2005 comedy “Die You Zombie Bastards!”

Written By David Strege

Brought to us by Zombastic Productions and director Caleb Emerson comes a superhero complex like no other…

We begin as a man and woman make out in a 1900’sish convertable while another man Red, sneaks up on them with a scythe but obviously has a conscience as he goes and lops off some hippie smokers heads instead…


Meanwhile, Shannon, Nikki, and Britney Maldonato are Paleo-archaeologists who are out on Hell Island somewhere in the Burmuda Triangle and have discovered an ancient Phalus that looks to be a fossilized penis of “The Amphibious Guy” whom slightly resembles the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Unbenownst to the nympoid female Paleo-diggers they are being watched by none other than Baron Nefarious underground ruler of Hell Island.


Not only does The dear Baron Nefarious kidnap these ladies but he turns them into Zombie Slaves for his pleasure.

Red on the other hand comes home to his wife Violet and soon learn they are happily married cannibals as they are questioned by police about the missing females.


Now even though the baron has enslaved these females for his desires he is on the lookout for a mate and finds one in an infomercial for Zombasheen in Violet Toole and hatches a plan to kidnap her and succeeds…


Vowing to kill all zombies to get his precious Violet back Red dons a suit, a cape made of human flesh and half skinned penis underwear becomes a superhero faster than a speeding rubber dick hehe.


I thought this film was hilarious and fun.  The make up was great, humor was over the top corny and outrageously bad it was good.  The story line was goofy but u could follow it along.   There is definitely a lot of Tits and Ass and characters thrown in the mix to either distract or be helpful on his journey as well as almost a nice nod to such shows as like the 60s Batman towards the end.

 I absolutely loved this film for all its idiosyncrasies and falseness will definitely be Memorable in my mind and is becoming a new favorite of mine so defitely check this out people it was great!

Starring Tim Gerstmar as Red/ CoconutHeadFaceMan/ Mother Nefarious/ Theiry Toole, Geoff Mosher as Baron Nefarious, Pippi Zornoza as Violet, Jamie Gillis as Stavros, Hasil Adkins as Himself, Jennifer K. Beal as Shannon Maldonato, Sadie Blades as Nikki Maldonato, Zhana LaRenard as Britney Maldonato, Joe James as Officer Konash (as Joe James), Sandra Kennedy as Super Inga, Lon E. Plynton as Barundeb Duttah, Doug Williams as Kid Fantastico, Llama Dick as Hell Island Field Worker, Scott Horsely as Hell Island Field Worker / Zombie, Jesse Myers as Hell Island Field Worker, Chip Van Dyke as Hell Island Field Worker, Dan Vena as Hell Island Field Worker / Hippie / Robot, Flash Organ as Guy Making Out In Car, Ladi Da as Girl Making Out In Car, Mitch MacArtor as Hippie, James Moan as Hippie, Steven Riley as Hippie, Robert Busher as Hell Island Voiceover / Phillipos, Kevin Umbricht as The Amphibious Guy, Caleb Emerson as Peanutch, Tuck Emerson-Snyder as Wendell Beauregarde, Lloyd Kaufman as Game Show Announcer, Jason “King” Randall as Kentucky Bob, Grimlocke as Gameshow Hostess, Lisa J. Natanson as Portia LaPlume, Dave Faria as Dante LaPlume (as David Faria), Sarah Mclaughlin as Evelyn Strange, Daniel Strange as Himself, Claudia Arsenio as Game Show Director, Andrew Aherne as Game Show Grip (as Andrew Ahearn), Laura Reinhard as Gameshow Grrrrl (as Laura S. Reinhard), Alexander Demarjian as Family At Picnic / Young Nerarious, Julia Demarjian as Family At Picnic, Ethan Emerson as Family At Picnic, Henry Emerson as Family At Picnic, Jacob Emerson as Family At Picnic, Lindsay Emerson as Family At Picnic, Oliver Emerson as Family At Picnic, Silas Emerson as Family At Picnic, Eric Richardson as Detective Digard, Dan St. Jacques as Asshole on the Street / Angry Dog Man, Tinso Ymecaf as Alleyway Pervert #1, Ivan Ecinmub as Alleyway Pervert #2, Anna Snyder as Hooker #1, Jillian Shamderberger as Hooker #2, Louise DeCurtis as Uschi – Disembowled Girl, Kim Sykes as Bahamian Woman, Jay Street as Bahamian Man (as John Bereiweriso), Kik Skakel Williams as Elke The Innkeeper, Rufus LeChien as Crispy Bacon, Adriane E. Collins as Lovely Swedish Field Worker, Lilla Smoluch as Lovely Swedish Field Worker (as LillA), Randi as Lovely Swedish Field Worker, Rosie as Lovely Swedish Field Worker, Rachel Knutton as Olga The Barmaid, Serena ‘Supreme Bean’ Andrews as Bar Patron, Johnny Carrera as Bar Patron, Erin Cole as Bar Patron, Anna Hepler as Bar Patron, AnnMarie Reveruzzi as Bar Patron, Alice Ogelthorpe as Sleeping Cheese Girl, Jessica Demarjian as Elizabeth Toole, Ken Cmar as Handsome Pizza Delivery Boy / Robot / Ninja, Haig Demarjian as Vlad the Impaler, Miachael Allen as Zombie, Nixie Borbardier as Zombie, Andrew Houle as Zombie, Miles Lacouture as Zombie, Erick Markarian as Zombie, Deek McDeekula as Zombie (as Deek McDeekula III), F. Adam Miller as Zombie, Brian L. Mullen III as Zombie, Jason Osborne as Zombie, Scott Paterson as Zombie (as Scott Patterson), Erik Talley as Zombie, Kevin Torstensen as Zombie, Chris Urany as Zombie, Sean Fay as Robot, Shane M. Frisby as Robot, Terry Boisclair as Ninja, Ricky Magic as Ninja, Matt Johnson as Ninja, Mark Raposa as Ninja, Jolly as angry Dog Man, Sophia Elisabeth as Britney (uncredited).

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