Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Written by David Strege
2016-02-27-22-14-26--2081265922
This 2016 film is based on a Mashup novel of the same name written by the same author of Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter which although I enjoyed the film I felt it was a horrible adaptation from the novel. Since there were some rather major changes.
The story and film is set in an alternate universe of the 19th century in the so called Regal period. Colonal Darcy played by Sam Riley is an extreme zombie hunter in a way the best gentleman of his time to scoop out where a zombie hides.  He carries a jar of carrion flies with him at all times.  For if a man or a lady is a zombie the flies will be attracted to the dead flesh and point out the existing person or sons who is of the undead.
Colonel Darcy has come to learn there is one present in the house in England he walks in opens up his jar they land on the father of the household and he in short kills him a young girls runs up a flight of steps into a room looking for a missing girl turns out the missing girl is infected too.
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Meanwhile Elizabeth Bennett and her 4 sisters, Lydia, Mary, Kitty and Jane are all excited Mr Bingley has moved in nearby who is an eligible bachelor and young and handsome to boot.  Mrs. Bennett the girls mother has every intent on seeing the girls married.  Where their father had taken it under advisement to send the girls off to China to learn martial arts to defend themselves in everyway.  So having come back not the ladies they once were but ladies in wait with skills.
Now on learning the Bingley’s are having a ball Elizabeth and her sisters prepare for a night of refined fun as their mother is determined to marry each and everyone of them.
In short on the way to this ball Jane runs into a soldier named George Wickham whom explains that him and Colonel Darcy have a history. Unfortunately it’s after this ball that Jane and her sisters learn of Colonel Darcy and Mr. Bingley’s untimely departure.  It is a pivoted turn as Elizabeth has to console the pining Jane.
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Mr. Wickham and Elizabeth on the other hand grow closer enough so he takes her on a journey just outside London to an old church by the name of St. Lazurus.  Elizabeth soon finds out she’s been brought to a church amongst the undead that her countrymen have so thought to kill for years. Mr. Wickham then tells her that there is a large number of growing civilized Zombie population where all they do is feed off livestock.
Mr. Wickham then asks Elizabeth to see if she can grant an audience to Lady Anne de Bourgh a well know zombie hunter and killer of some wealth and stature for a peace treaty.
Meanwhile Elizabeth funds out the reason behind the sudden departure of Darcy and his freind. The treaty is not accepted and Elizabeth refuses advances from both Parson Collins a strutting peacock of a man and also Mr. Whickham.
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Whickham in turn kidnaps a younger sister of Elizabeths to St. Lazarus amongst the undead Horde and somehow Elizabeth Bennet and Colonel Darcy must put aside their difference to save her sister and the rest of England from the turmoil and war that Mr. Whickham has declared.
In the begining I wasnt sure about Sam Riley as Darcy as I’ve not seen him in earlier roles nut after watching the film a couple times now I’ve kind of grown to enjoy his character but I feel his and Elizabeths romance is Stiff and could have shown more on how it progressed to love a bit more than the film did.
I also felt they were treading lightly though this is supposed to be based on a book I stilL feel they were trying to go more pride and prejudice than Zombie mixed as it was supposed to be.  I feel the scenery was fantastic but found the moments of killing to be blurry.  I expected more blood and guts instead it was a blurred suggestion.  I enjoyed the film but I felt it was missing it’s mark.
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Altogether this was a relately ok film of I think pride and prejudice but I feel as it was a very tightly rung badly made book to film adaptation of a pg-13 and the could have broke more pride and prejudice story line to make it what it truly was meant to be.
I will say I enjoyed Parson Collins role the way he preened like a bird and kissed ass to Lady de Bourgh.. haha but…
I recommend for others but this is my view in the subject hope you enjoy!
Starring Lily James as Elizabeth Bennet, Sam Riley as Mr. Darcy, Bella Heathcote as Jane Bennet, Ellie Bamber as Lydia Bennet, Millie Brady as Mary Bennet, Suki Waterhouse as Kitty Bennet, Douglas Booth as Mr. Bingley, Sally Phillips as Mrs. Bennet, Charles Dance as Mr. Bennet, Jack Huston as George Wickham, Lena Headey as Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Matt Smith as Parson Collins, Emma Greenwell as Caroline Bingley, Eva Bell as Louisa, Aisling Loftus as Charlotte, Charlie Anson as Mr. Hurst, Tom Lorcan as Lt. Denny, Robert Fyfe as Butler Edwin, Dan Cohen as Young Soldier, Nicholas Murchie as Franklin, Kate Doherty as Mrs. Kenicot, Pippa Haywood as Mrs. Long, Bessie Cursons as Lady Anne de Bourgh, Morfydd Clark as Georgiana, Dolly Wells as Mrs. Featherstone, Hermione Corfield as Cassandra, Pooky Quesnel as Mrs. Phillips, Janet Henfrey as Dowager, Richard Braine as Black Suited Man, Robert Morgan as Mr. Phillips, Jonathan Oliver as Priest, Angus Kennedy as Mr. Kingston, Charles Ames as Eldest Zombie Boy, Michael Cole as Sentry #2, Nathan Whitfield as Sentry #1, Rob Callender as Subordinate Officer, Euan Macnaughton as Physician, Rebecca Scott as Penny McGregor, Dominic Borrelli as the Mortician, Ancuta Breaban as Spact C Zombie (uncredited), Helen Evans as Zombie (uncredited), David Few-Cooper as Soldier (uncredited), Caroline Garnell as Parson Collins Housekeeper (uncredited), Andy Hayes as Squire (uncredited), Hugh Holman as Spact Zombie (uncredited), Ashley Hudson as Young Man (uncredited), Frans Isotalo as The man on guard (uncredited), Bron James as Gentleman (uncredited), Allin Kempthorne as Juggling Clown (uncredited), Marat Khairoullin as Zombie (uncredited), Shannon Laurin as Shoaling Master (uncredited), Judit Novotnik As Spact Zombie (uncredited), Sigmund Oakeshott as Standard Bearer (uncredited), Ryan Oliva as Wilhelm (uncredited), Jess Radomska as Annabelle Netherfield (uncredited), Helen Road as Spact Zombie (uncredited), Harry Rudd as Morticians Assistant (uncredited), Matt Tyzack as English Soldier (uncredited), Daniel Westwood as Black Guard (uncredited), Peter Willoughby as Musketeer (uncredited).

 

Meat Butcher Baby

Written by David Strege

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Coming from Yan Kaos is his second short film from 2009 D. I. Y. Productions and deeper down the rabbit hole we go…

We begin with sounds of muffled screaming and a shot to a table of bloodied instruments as we pan to a woman tied and gagged, lying on a kitchen floor… a man in a mask then feels her up and drags her to a tub as he proceeds to take her apart piece by bloody piece… I would go as close to say it plays like a snuff film as it is taped on home video to have that effect of happening as we speak…

This short film is more sadistic than Wrong Dose as we are led to believe this person is almost enjoying mutilating this woman as he takes what appears to be drills and a pair of salad tongs to the eyes…

I think and feel Yan was going more for a turn your head away approach but I feel that he’s merely teasing about what kind of gore he truly has in store… I think your average gore enthusiast who just want to see people killed and mutilated will be impressed and this is just a short snippet of what is to come…

Did I enjoy it? Hard to say as it seems I can’t turn myself away from these sick reality like snuff films and what does that say about me a born Christian… Now after a little bit I realize that I think these short films of Yan Kaos are addicting as you don’t know what hell come up with next.  I am curious as to his next projects and will determine my curiosity into the self destruction of his future film… all I can say is experimental and its own taste as well as a nod to Guinea Pig.

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Starring Yan Kaos as The Butcher, Melyssa Blanchet as The Victim.

Wrong Dose/ Bad Reactions

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Directed by Yan Kaos in 2008 under his underground label D. I. Y. Productions this short film started him out of the darkness and into the light from the cavernous depths of Canada. Also can’t help the small not to influences of Lucifer Valintine, and Begotten… but Kaos has made is own way from hell…
Played by actress/model Bloody Mary we see a punk dressed girl walk into an obviously metal head room with a fridge covered with magnets and death metal posters all around… we hear music come on as it seems shes taken out a line of some kind of drug assuming cocaine…
As we know it’s normally a feel good drug replacing you with a feeling that you are almost invincible and free… girl begins to dance and party to the music…
Rushes to the bathroom pukes then comes out and convulses violently almost demonic-like…

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As short films always are they are short but I feel for not having much dialogue… body language sounds and music can tell a story… I don’t know why but I liked this film.  The girl was pretty you saw some tits, and it had a bit of gore.  I think for the first film into Kaos he did well and feel this is only the beginning into his madness…
Though he likes to keep out of the limelight and as he says underground he almost wants to stay this way but as all deviant directors has a message to spill even if it is your own… enjoy!

The Conjuring 2

Written by David Strege
2016-06-06-21-33-28--1354834157
Before I begin on the film in question…
Let me talk about the history behind The Real Crooked Man and the real Enfield haunting…
There was a crooked man, and he walked a crooked mile.He found a crooked sixpense upon a crooked stile.He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse,
And they all lived together in a little crooked house. 
There are two theories of the origins of the crooked man stanza… in the 1840’s is when the nursery rhyme first originated written by James Orchard Wallihall.  One theory is that it was based on the way the village of Lavenham as the buildings and roads are so slanted they would depict the description of the stanza.
The other theory is of a General by the name of Sir Alexander Leslie under, King Charles I of England, a Sottish soldier in the Swedish and Scottish army.  Born illegitimate and raised as a foster child, he subsequently advanced to the rank of a Swedish Field Marshall, and in Scotland became Lord General in command of the Army of the Covenanters, privy coucillor, captain of Edinburgh Castle, Lord Balgonie and Earl of Levon. In England he commanded the Army of the Solemn League and Covenent and was senior commander of the Army of Both kingdoms whom is known for drawing up a covenant a form of agreement between the Scott’s and the English about the border between as mentioned in the line… he found a crooked sixpence, upon a crooked stile.
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As to the Enfield Haunting: In August 1977, at a council house in Brimsdown, Enfield, England single parent Peggy Hodgson called police to her rented home in Enfield after two of her four children claimed that furniture was moving and knocking sounds were heard on walls. The children included Margaret, age 13, Janet, age 11, Johnny, age 10 and Billy, age 7. A police constable saw a chair slide on the floor but couldn’t determine if it moved by itself or was pushed by someone. Later claims included allegedly demonic voices, loud noises, thrown rocks and toys, overturned chairs and levetation of children. Reports of further incidents in the house attracted considerable press attention and the story was covered in British newspapers such as the Daily Mail and Daily Mirror, until reports came to an end in 1979. On Halloween 2011, BBC NEWS featured comments from a radio interview with photographer Graham Morris, who claimed that many of the events were genuine.
Some members of the Society for Psychical Research such as inventor Maurice Grosse and writer Guy Lyon Playfair believed the haunting to be genuine, while others such as professors of psychology Anita Gregory and John Beloff were “unconvinced” and found evidence the girls had faked incidents for the benefit of reporters. Members of the Comitee for Skeptical Inquiry including stage magicians such as Milbourn Christopher, Joe Nickell, and Bob Couttie investigated the incidents and criticised paranormal investigators for being overly credulous, identifying various features of the case as being part of a hoax.
The film follows the Warrens as they at first investigate the Amityville haunting and as the film portrays Lorraine played by Bates Motels  Vera Farmiga, whom experiences something so propheticaly scary to her she makes Ed played by Patrick Wilson, her paranormal sidekick/ business partner and husband swear they won’t take on another case. I say sidekick as they have always had controversy surrounding them as hoaxters….
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Little do they know the connection and the hold the vision has over their lives… as they learn of a little girl and her siblings are haunted by claims of poltergeist activity, knocking and furniture being moved.
The children are haunted by this antique lamp that carries the story of the crooked man… soon the warrens realize the youngest girl is possessed by an older man that is only haunting the family as its being controlled by the darkly vision of an evil nunlooking spirit that had prophecies the death of one most dear to Lorraine.
For the most part the film follows the original haunting of Enfield to a T.  The biggest difference it wasn’t the Warrens who’d investigated at all.  I think the girl who played the youngest and the most possessed played her part a very emotional scene between Lorraine and the child.
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Also we can see the depiction of love Ed has for Lorraine all through out especially when he sang a familiar song to bring music back into the children’s lives…
I won’t say much of what happens but to me it wasn’t as all up to the hype as they made it out to be.  Albeit the crooked man peaked my interest and I’ll wonder in the future if they’ll touch basis on the tale as it appears just like when the little girl pranks the investigators, the crooked man is more of an illusionary.
Ultimately I enjoyed it but there’s one more descrepency… in the original story it was both girls who’d pranked the investigators not just the one.
I’ll let you decide… but Im still on the fence… I was looking for a jump I didn’t… I liked it but yeah…
Starring Patrick Wilson as Ed Warren, Vera Farmiga as Lorraine Warren, Madison Wolfe as Janet Hodgson, Frances O’Connor as Peggy Hodgson, Lauren Esposito as Margaret Hodgson, Benjamin Haigh as Billy Hodgson, Patrick McAuley as Johnny Hodgson, Simon McBurney as Maurice Grosse, Maria Doyle Kennedy as Peggy Nottingham, Simon Delaney as Vic Nottingham, Franka Potente as Anita Gregory, Bob Adrian as Bill Wilkins, Robin Atkin Downs as Demon Voice (voice), Bonnie Aarons as Demon Nun, Javier Botet as Crooked Man, Steve Coulter as Father Gordon, Abhi Sinha as Harry Whitmark, Chris Royds as Graham Morris, Sterling Jerins as Judy Warren, Daniel Wolf as Kent Allen, Annie Young as Constable Heeps, Elliot Joseph as Constable Peterson, Debra Weston as Talk Show Host, Cory English as Skeptic Kaplan, Joseph Bishara as Demon, Emily Tasker as Camilla, Kate Cook as Mrs. More, Carol Been as Lollipop Woman, Shannon Kook as Drew, Holly Hayes as Audience Member, Jennifer Collins as Louise Defeo, Thomas Harrison as Peter, Claire Ashton as Theater Audience and Market Lady ( uncredited), Kishmore Bhatt as Pedestrian (uncredited), CarneyPat as Gentleman Smoker ( uncredited ), Sarah Cortez as Dawn (uncredited), Gioacchino Jim Cuffaro as Neighbor ( uncredited), Helen Dashwood as Theater Audience and Street Shopper (uncredited), Marco DeBartolo as Roland Sr. (Uncredited), Nancy DeMar as Woman Walking Dog ( uncredited ), Diego Gomez as John Mathew (uncredited), Joy Isa as Market Trader (uncredited), Danny Jackson as Aaron (uncredited), Charlotte Lorenz as Helen (uncredited), Teresa Mahoney as Carol Singer (uncredited), Isabelle Marlowe as Mom (uncredited), Glen Posey as Rocker-Musician (uncredited), Mike Sengelow as News Reporter (uncredited), Jamie Soricelli as Shadow Nun (uncredited), Gone Thursday as Michael (uncredited), John Trevillion as Schoolboy (uncredited).

Diego Gomez

John Matthew (uncredited)


Joy Isa

Market Trader (uncredited)


Danny Jackson

Aaron (uncredited)


Charlotte Lorenz

Helen (uncredited)


Teresa Mahoney

Carol Singer (uncredited)


Isabelle Marlowe

Mom (uncredited)


Glenn Povéy

Rocker – Musician (uncredited)


Mike Sengelow

News Reporter (uncredited)


Jamie Soricelli

Shadow Nun (uncredited)


Gone Thursday

Michael (uncredited)


John Trevillion
Schoolboy (uncredited)

Tough Cookie

Written by David Strege

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Audio from Movies Galore On Tough Cookie 2015

Directed by Milwaukee’s own Bobby Schmidt of Esprit Noir Productions and ISR Productions, this short film from 2014 packs a punch and reminds you a little of the competition between two rival groups.

Shot in grindhouse sequences with elements of Tarantinoesque influences as we begin our tale in a drug deal selling girlscout cookies…

Only it’s not Cookies and it’s not girlscouts… they are Trooper Sisters in an outfit run by Big Mama.  Madge known as Ruthless is taken down and does some time…

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Years later Madge is working a Restaurant under the name of Ruth when one of Big Mama’s Trooper Sisters finds her to take and get back Gingersnaps.  Lo and behold Big Mama spins a tale that the Trooper Brothers kidnapped Gingersnaps to start a war.

So we see the Troopers both sides preparing for war… Trooper brothers looking like the Elephants Marchers in Jungle Book and after a horn blows the battle begins as a Trooper Brother appearing like Hitler screams as Madge screams…

Now there are 5 actors to note that have taken part in this short film, one is Tug played by Chad Halverson whom is also director of Zombitos and the ever Popular Gordon in Hi, Neighbor. Two is Skully Sati a local entertainer, event organizer and the best tarot reader in the midwest, Sergio Espino whom is also a local Director being numero 3, Theda de Sade who played Diabla the dancer in the beginning is an exotic dancer and entertainer but she is in actuality in real life a performer from the Milwaukee East side for most of her life she also does burlesque as well as pinup and fetish modeling if anyone is interested and you will often find her as part of any night time event… and the other two are thanked in the Kickstarter thanks Section… Mark Winter whose an aspiring script writer just Graduated from College recently… and Stephen Milek of Milwaukee Movie Talk as backers… in a sense this film is like a mascot to the Milwaukee Film movement due to the Montage of Players in this film.

I enjoyed it’s flavor it’s humor the storyline as I always thought there was competition in girlscouts and boyscouts just not to this level…

I recommend anyone to see this film if they haven’t they should. But also you can see it was more of a film they all did for fun… and hey if you can laugh at yourself as I saw Chad Halverson do through both Hi, Neighbor and Tough Cookie it must be one hell of a film…

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Starring Marie Sirena as Madge, Texas Cheshier as Detective Jack Solid, Linda Cieslik as Big Mama, Amanda Schulz as Biscotti, David Alexander as Troop Brother, Jett Bennett as Cherub, Kristen Casey as Shortbread, Tiffany Chappa as Troop Sister, Billy Czerwionka as Investigator, Sary Dawe as Troop Sister, Theda de Sade as Diabla, Sergio Espino as Troop Sister, Jonathon Ferrer as Troop Brother, Sean Fiscus as Hammer, Kasey Grant as Officer Harris, Chad Halverson as Tug, Jessica Hamrick as Troop Sister, Daniel Hass as Brand, Caitlin Hayes as Troop Sister, Tracey Huddleston as Troop Sister, Alex Huettl as Troop Brother, Carissa Ihm as Diner Extra, Kaitly Ihm as Diner Extra, Leonard John Ihm as Diner Extra, Sharon Ihm as Diner Extra, Emily Johnson as Troop Sister, Ryan Johnson as Detective Logan Steele, Shawn Jolly as Troop Brother, Brad Klotz as Troop Brother, Mary Lopez as Troop Sister, Jessie Mahne as Troop Sister, Michael Martino as Troop Brother, Ashley Milewski as Troop Sister, Lora Miller as Ginger Snaps, Kara Philips as Lady Finger, Moe Pull as Romeo, Amber Robinson as Troop Sister, Skully Sati as Troop Sister, Jenni Schenk as Diner Extra, Justin Schmaus as Cinder, Kodi Schopper as Eisen, Russell Scott as Patches, Anil Shah as Troop Brother, Lauri Shea as Troop Sister, Lauren Stevens as Diner Extra, Lloyd Tess as Troop Brother, Kate Vandervort as Troop Sister, All Vento as Troop Brother, Kevin Wadhams as Diner Extra, Bianca Ware as Troop Sister, Marsha Williams as Troop Sister, Ty Winter as Troop Brother.

A Loving Memory

Written by  David Strege

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Also from Herbivore Productions Directed by Rick Gawel this time on his own from 2010 as well.

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In this short film we see a woman talking on a phone we don’t really see her face just her mouth so it’s definitely more visual with images as your listening to her describe over time about lies… a man who loves her and a woman I think was her freind and what she did to them…

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Explained in more of a narrative we see more of an exploratory look to the madness of the emotions behind how this woman felt when truths surfaced but I think we also see how happy she once was as well…

Both sides I feel are shown along with possible enjoyment in the thrill of death not once but…

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And I leave you at that lol I enjoyed this short as well though it was a little confusing at first… as you put together the story as the woman explains to an unknown person like a confession you understand and almost identify with her pain and why she might have reason to kill the she and he the she refers to… in the end in the moment would you react differently when you believe a person is in love with you….

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I’d recommend this for anyone though I’m sure it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea… that’s for sure…

 

Starring Melissa Malan.

Gless

Written by David Strege

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Directed by Rick Gawel and Co-directed by Melissa Malan who played Bless in this 2010 short film from Herbivore Productions.

We begin on a black screen hearing static and low mumbling of an individual named Gless… as we see here sitting in a robe in a room where she thinks she’s falling to pieces and bleeding out like everyone else…

Years ago Bliss father fell down the stairs or so she was told…  through the years many specials tried to distort her memories so much that it conflicted with the memories she already had…

When she finally confronts her mother about what really happened finds out that her father was actually pushed and killed for his abusive nature and as she saw the same look in Bliss her father had did everything in her power to try to help deal with the growing anger inside…

To me this is an emotional film almost dealing with a paranoid schizophrenic personality almost possessed.  I thought the imagery portrayed was pretty great with the confrontation the visits of her father to tell Bliss that loneliness is contagious…

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In the end I enjoyed the film though I’m left wondering whether Gless or Bliss is who Gless really is… two different woman portraying who she was stripped down or who she was to become…

I’ll leave it up to you to decide what you think its out there enjoy my thoughts!

Starring Joseph Bowen as Andrew Dresden, Jaimelyn Gray as Angel, Melissa Malan as Bless, Julie Schlesinger as Julianne Dresden, Angela Jo Strohm as Gless Dresdon, Vincent Truman as Dr. Marshawn, Barbara Zahora as Patricia Manning LCSW.