Written by David Strege
Only in Wisconsin as it is filmed here do we get such corny laughable flicks folks. Coming to us from More-on Productions is a crazy title of a normally woodsy creature from outer space about to invade earth to take over move over Martians it’s Vampire Ticks from Outer Space.
Directed by Michael Norman Gale Butt who brought us Yetis which i shall review shortly.
It begins as a camper is bringing his tent back to a camp are looking for Freda but she isn’t there once he gets back, something is watching him. He hears a sound like someone stepping on a branch then stumble on Fredas broken Sandle and a strange looking metal crate.
Of course he opens the crate and a giant tick shoots out to his chest and he screams. It looks like a furry whoopy cushion as you hear someone making sucking sounds as it appears it gets blown up with blood. Then you see it run over by a vehicle with what looks like steak meat blood juices I love it. Lol.
The driver of said vehicle hasn’t been home in 4 years. Meanwhile a farmer finds all his cows dead and struts around with a pitchfork exclaiming ” what happened to all my cows!” Sticks a pitchfork into one of these giant creature and you hear hissing and moaning. Suddenly their all around the farmer and you hear him scream so ur left to thinking he’s been killed too.
Another man driving a green bug lime colored runs over one of these creatures and is attacked from behind from another dragged off to god knows where screaming. Fuuuunky but enjoyable.
Meanwhile Norman Gales character arrives home to an empty house thinking his parents would have left a note. Also no dial tone to the phone. No signal on his cell until he reaches the end of the paved road on top of a tractor.
He calls a friend since it’s spooky and he doesn’t want to be alone This isn’t like his folks. Susan is getting ready for a date while her mother calls her to get her father who happens to be said earlier farmer. But she runs into the ticks that look like tumbleweed blooms rolling after her. She runs kind of funky too lol.
Another group of friends is driving to a campsite telling urban legends as they get there. Meanwhile back at the house Norman Gales Character as so far the only name I’ve heard so far in the flick is the dudes wife’s name who’d found the original crate of blood sucking creatures, found a box as he was walking in the kitchen, thought nothing of it went to use the bathroom. We on the other hand see the box move and he comes back seeing that it’s totally moved down the room a bit. He lifted it up and screams as there is one of these creatures! Holy fuck!
He shakes it around like it’s attacking him throws it to the floor you hear it moan and see it run as he steps on him the blood squirted out ewe…
After that we finally find out dudes name is George who’d opened the crate in the beginning as the friends who were on their way to meet the couple call out their names to a deserted campground site. One of the two girls notices some blinking lights and wanders off to investigate. Her man wails up behind her scares her with a rubber scorpion she’s not amused.
And we finally find out who they are but not for long Wendy and Johnny. Johnny tries to show her to face her fears by opening the same crate George had earlier. Was Wendy fooled? No but Johnny sure was Dead certain.
Wendy comes screaming out of the woods shouting for help saying big big to her freinds. As the ticks look like their attacking her and following her. One of the freinds just stands there like a dudes and say wow look at that hardy Har Har and it’s no wonder what happens next lol hey come here little guy car car!
They get to the car but they can’t find the keys. Meanwhile Norman Gales character it taking a pair of tongs to the killed alien when he hears a noise and a knock on the door it’s a girl. She’d been attack by the same mutants that attacked him. His friend he’d called which is actually his brother since we weren’t told who he’d called earlier is on his way. While they hear the screams of Wendy outside being attacked by one of these creatures the other chicken runs out with a bay and I swear to god its Normans character grunting as the creature gets smashed it’s freaking hilarious. And of course the whole yard is infested with them suddenly. It’s just all kinds of comedy that these rubbery looking balloon like ticks are what their afraid of and when they make sounds it sounds like someone stepped on a dying squeeze toy lol
Now we finally hear the name of Hank as one of the freinds finally his brother jed arrives but he’s just standing there and they all know the creature is out there. They scream for him to get in the house he doesn’t hear at first. For right now it appears they are sitting ducks. Oh and I just realized the chick Susie who’d came in before at the knock and smashed the creature with the bat is apparently the same chuck sent out to look for the father who I think was the farmer who also explained her date was dead too.
Meanwhile the creatures keep jumping at the windows and now their in the basement. They all search the house for household weapons a bat, a gun, a rock some insect spray and something that looks like a paddle of some sort lol they run to a car as we see the creatures jump out or thrown lol out a window of the house after them.
They are driving down the road away, hit a deer as it looks like all that’s left is the antler they get out and check but the creatures are still coming. Now they’ve arrived at a place that Normans character and his brother have been told to come since their parents were paranoid. But his brother jed and the rest haven’t shown up for they are still sitting ducks back at the original house since the creatures didn’t allow them to follow. After awhile they realize the creatures are no longer attacking like they were. So they leave. Will the friends be able to meet up with Susie and Normans Character and where are all the ticks? What happened to the mutants that have seemed to have been her killed there few then gone. Is the Vampire Tick Apocalypse over!
No cause apparaantly they’ve all gotten together to create on big gigantic mother of a tick 20 feet tall at least! With what looked like a lobster claw.
Ultimately it appears there was a government experiment bring done at the president’s expense whose president we don’t really know but we see a spinning rewind of event and then everything seems back to normal as the freinds are still driving but he still remembers his tassel is missing.
The end scene is of the farmer going to look at all his beautiful cows as it looks like a creature is running up to attack him aaah. Lol
This movie was just all kinds of funk but looked like the cast and crew had fun. Yes the acting was kinda bad but I felt the is film was so bad it was pretty good if not definitely the title is out there wierd.
I give this film a 3 out of 5 star rating and recommend for you extremely into bad corny film to check this fun film out if anything to laugh at the obviously home made creatures it wasn’t half bad. I just wish and maybe it’s just me all the characters could have had names. I didn’t find out the names by scrolling through the credits lol but I had to tell people about it because of its wackiness.
Starring Obediah Boon, Joel Thingvall, Chrystalynn Oldenburg, Scarlett Carr, Norman Gale.